Just Chatting

It's hard for me to articulate all that I feel and think right now. The past two weeks have rendered this one still very surreal.
I think of Quanah all day, every day. It's like the sand agitating the oyster. Sometimes it trips me up and I can't think straight. Sometimes thoughts of him make me laugh. Sometimes I just replay bad memories over and over and I wish I didn't have them to reference.
And, like always when someone in our circle passes, I tend to think of what kind of gap that person is leaving behind...and then I commit to shouldering some of hir contributions.
With Niels, it was obvious, my task was to hug fully, with all my heart, and to help others when I could.
When Sharmayne passed, I committed to recognizing when others were in deep pain, not to assume that because someone is beautiful (s)he has no difficulties...
What shall Quanah's mantle be? I think of the importance of seizing every moment that I have a child...any other living being really...in my path, and sharing what I think and feel and believe. I know I need to listen more intently, be more quiet, more respectful.

peace in
love more
Hope abundantly

Passing

My dear Kithe and Kin

I'm at a loss for words. My heart is at once broken and mended by love.

How blessed we all are to have one another, to console, to hold, together to mourn the passing of our dear and precious Quanah, and also to celebrate his life...to acknowledge his contributions to us as community...

Once more I'm getting the lesson that we all need to stay more connected. We need to know WHO has WHAT going on. We need to know if someone in our circle needs assistance, advocacy, a hand to hold, resources, etc. so we can help. That's what I envisioned this blog as being: a conduit for our family's energies

I love you all so very much.

in gratitude and peace
love under will
Hope